Sunday, June 24, 2012

My Ex and LeBron


        LeBron James leaving his native Cleveland hit me like many Cavaliers fans pretty hard.  In trying to describe my feelings to a friend of mine after LeBron’s recent championship I was looking for the perfect analogy and I found it; an ex-girlfriend.

            LeBron to me is like an ex-girlfriend, it ends with the ring.  When I started dating my ex I was a wreck; ill equipped for the next level, unambitious, and slept in too late.  My Cavs before LeBron showed up also had these same issues.  My ex came in and changed the wardrobe bringing me a little more class, out with the jeans with holes and stained tees.  LeBron did the very same for the Cavs ditching older players and baby fat from the rooster to add new kicks like Antwan Jamison and a nice retro suit like Shaquille O’Neil to give the Cavs that new slick look. 

            King James like most of our ex’s demands us to step it up and get some new things if you expect them to hang around.  The Cavs got a new work out facility closer to LeBron’s Akron home so the drive wouldn’t be too bad in the off season.  I didn’t have to go out and buy a gym but I did have to get an air conditioner for the apartment and ditch the futon for an actual bed.  In both comparisons all parties involved got what they wanted especially my ex, I mean LeBron, I mean, oh whatever!  

            `Now you guys have been together for a while now and it is starting to get a little more serious.  One of the people involved wants to take it to the next level and they start talking about a ring.  That one ring, which is different for my ex, and LeBron, and even Gollum strangely enough; that ring starts to rule their lives.  You try to be calm and rational about it and say “Honey, I’ll get you a ring but you have to show me you are committed.”  Show me your in it for the long haul and you aren’t going to leave me high and dry here in a couple years for some new beau in Miami but then they turn it around on you and say you don’t trust them.  They pout around and make changes to their game but never quite step it up to the level they have to showing you they are all in. 

After a while they start scheming with their girlfriends (Bosh, Wade, and Pat O’ Riley) and these friends always tell them that they could do so much better than you.  He’s a nice guy and all but is he really going to take you anywhere in life?  Will he get you that ring?  That’s when everything goes wrong with the relationship.  Constant under performance in key moment’s pulls the two of you apart until eventually you have a messy breakup. 

You try to patch things up and start over but too much has been said to ever repair all the damage done.  They move on and yeah, you wish you could go back to way things were before but what is done is done and you can’t change that.  You follow what’s going on from a far; reading facebook status’s and tweet’s for hints about what they are thinking or even if they will take you back.  After a while of doing this you hear news that they are about to get that ring they wanted so badly.  Once they get the ring you realize there is no turning back and you can quit pinning over them.  In the back of your head you hear a voice that says it will be ok, you heard these same rumors last year and nothing ever came out of it.  This time seems different though.  They seem really determined to get it.  It seems like it’s really going happen and there is nothing you can do to stop it.  

When LeBron finally got that ring last week I knew it was time to move on; he wasn’t coming back so I should just make peace with that.  The first step in fixing any problem is admitting you have one in the first place.  In closing, my name is William Balzer, I have a love / hate relationship with LeBron James and I’m trying to move on with my life!

To Be Continued….?